This is my version of the story: Boracay Hangover

"Whatever happens in Boracay stays in Boracay.... Not. It comes back to Manila as blackmail!"

So, my partner in crime and I went to summer paradise to claim our well deserved breather from all the stress that have piled up the last couple of months. We were ready. Sunscreen, check (well, tanning lotion for Lhen), iPod with an updated song list + speakers, check. Bottles of vodka, tequila and rhum, check. Worries and real identities? Unloaded from our metaphorical baggages.

You know we were up to no good the moment we identified that having bogus identities were essential. Don't worry though, we're back in one piece, safe and happier than before we left. I'm not going to dive into details as to what happened in our epic 3 nights in Boracay. I'd like to honor that "Whatever happens in Boracay, stays in Boracay" saying... Though with the way things are going right now, it seems like it doesn't and it comes back with you to Manila in the form of blackmail.... Or karma.

We were supposed to be a group of 4 but at the last minute, our 2 companions backed out due to other engagements so it was just down to Lhen and myself.

Lhen and Miles.

Miles and Lhen.

Boracay island.

4 days, 3 nights.

Every time we told our friends that we were going to be in Boracay together, the reactions we got ranged from, "Just the two of you?! Uh-oh" to "Boracay does not know what's coming over." You see, Lhen is my partner in crime and leaving us alone without a referee or a sane person to keep us watch spells Trouble. With a capital "T". According to the dictionary, a partner in crime is:

Noun - Partner in Crime:

Someone who assists in a plot. Collaborator, henchman, confederate, accessary, accessory. Someone who helps another person commit a crime.

In the urban dictionary, it's defined as:

Noun - Partner in Crime:

Good friends who get in trouble together or get each other in trouble and laugh about it.

I think the last definition is more palatable. Well, either way, Lhen Hasal is my partner in crime and we committed a lot of "crimes" in Boracay. I've managed to streamline it to the Top 10 crimes. Heaven forbid there were more but and here's the radio-friendly version of the list:

10. Considering that Boracay is the Philippine version of "Sin City", waking up at 9.30 AM is pretty square but not when your agenda for waking up early is to steal the entire pitcher of pineapple juice from the buffet table just to spike it with rhum. At exactly 10.30, we were pissed drunk to commit the other crimes that made it to the list.

9. We came to Boracay with a trouble-making agenda in mind and were armed with bogus names to protect our image and likeness. The first night we introduced our fake selves, we got busted immediately. Karma grabs you at the ass. Fast.

8. If Lhen were a wrestler, her finishing maneuver would be “Ball Busting”. Yes, she made sure that the idiot won’t be able to produce idiot-lings.

7. If there’s one thing that partner in crimes do not do, it is to leave the other one behind who’s stuck in a complicated situation… Even if it meant letting go of the hottest guy she’s ever seen in the face of this planet who, coincidentally appeared to be interested too. Joke.

Joke (usually half-meant).

6. A bottle of vodka, rhum and tequila. 2 girls, 3 nights, 3 empty bottles.

5. “Not in your very limited life span,” said the partners to a dirty old man who grabbed them from behind.

4. Scanning the dance floor from a far and whenever "our song” played (which is defined by songs that we like --- and that’s a very, very broad list), we take up 1/4^th of the entire dance floor, making a scene. Yes, we liked the attention, very much.

3. 100ML Sprite bottle + Vodka = Spriked.

2. Pretending to be lesbian lovers just so the very pathetic group of men would stop hitting on us, only to drop the act –in an instant- when a more interesting group invited us for drinks. We do feel sorry for your ego boys, but yes, you can do better than that.

1. Completely living out our teenage dreams.

Yes, this list might be a little cryptic but you know the saying, “the devil’s in the details”? Well, if I spare more details, then Satan might make a guest appearance. We didn’t kill anything but male egos, shyness and some things in our bucket lists more importantly, we had a hell of a great time. Until our next trip, dear partner in crime, Lhen!