Friday Morning Thoughts

I realized I was so in love with the idea of love that I almost settled for what was available. It was too convenient. A beautiful city like New York has the power to disengage emotions and take you to this fantasy world where everything is perfect, most especially when you are alone. For a traveler like me, nothing is permanent,  everything is fleeting, including the most potent emotion known to man.

Thank you, Brooklyn. 

If only world leaders would think like kids

Growing up in Japan where I was lost in translation, my parents sent me to an international school for my grade school studies. That was my first exposure to the bigger world around me. I met friends from many countries and got to know a lot about the culture of different places even without having to visit them. It was a wonderful experience for a kid.

In my Grade 3 class, there was one beautiful German girl who had long red hair and freckles named Julia who I became close to. We were the tallest girls in class (back then my growth spurt went wild and obviously it came to a screeching halt soon after...) Since we were always at the end of the line (we go in order of height when lining up in school), we saw that as a connection that bound us and we became friends. Everyday, we would run  around the school grounds, climb the monkey bars, play at the slides and swings and make fun of each other while doing so.... We were literally inseparable.

Eventually, we became best friends.

You know what's funny about our friendship? Julia did not speak a word of English and I did not understand any bit of German. The only language we knew how to speak was friendship. Now, if only world leaders would take their cue from children,  there would be no war in this planet.

PS. Julia and I are still in contact thanks to Facebook.

Boracay Hangover

"Whatever happens in Boracay stays in Boracay.... Not. It comes back to Manila as blackmail!"

So, my partner in crime and I went to summer paradise to claim our well deserved breather from all the stress that have piled up the last couple of months. We were ready. Sunscreen, check (well, tanning lotion for Lhen), iPod with an updated song list + speakers, check. Bottles of vodka, tequila and rhum, check. Worries and real identities? Unloaded from our metaphorical baggages.

You know we were up to no good the moment we identified that having bogus identities were essential. Don't worry though, we're back in one piece, safe and happier than before we left. I'm not going to dive into details as to what happened in our epic 3 nights in Boracay. I'd like to honor that "Whatever happens in Boracay, stays in Boracay" saying... Though with the way things are going right now, it seems like it doesn't and it comes back with you to Manila in the form of blackmail.... Or karma.

We were supposed to be a group of 4 but at the last minute, our 2 companions backed out due to other engagements so it was just down to Lhen and myself.

Lhen and Miles.

Miles and Lhen.

Boracay island.

4 days, 3 nights.

Every time we told our friends that we were going to be in Boracay together, the reactions we got ranged from, "Just the two of you?! Uh-oh" to "Boracay does not know what's coming over." You see, Lhen is my partner in crime and leaving us alone without a referee or a sane person to keep us watch spells Trouble. With a capital "T". According to the dictionary, a partner in crime is:

Noun - Partner in Crime:

Someone who assists in a plot. Collaborator, henchman, confederate, accessary, accessory. Someone who helps another person commit a crime.

In the urban dictionary, it's defined as:

Noun - Partner in Crime:

Good friends who get in trouble together or get each other in trouble and laugh about it.

I think the last definition is more palatable. Well, either way, Lhen Hasal is my partner in crime and we committed a lot of "crimes" in Boracay.  I've managed to streamline it to the Top 10 crimes. Heaven forbid there were more but and here's the radio-friendly version of the list:

10. Considering that Boracay is the Philippine version of "Sin City", waking up at 9.30 AM is pretty square but not when your agenda for waking up early is to steal the entire pitcher of pineapple juice from the buffet table just to spike it with rhum. At exactly 10.30, we were pissed drunk to commit the other crimes that made it to the list.

9. We came to Boracay with a trouble-making agenda in mind and were armed with bogus names to protect our image and likeness. The first night we introduced our fake selves, we got busted immediately. Karma grabs you at the ass. Fast.

8. If Lhen were a wrestler, her finishing maneuver would be “Ball Busting”. Yes, she made sure that the idiot won’t be able to produce idiot-lings. 

7. If there’s one thing that partner in crimes do not do, it is to leave the other one behind who’s stuck in a complicated situation… Even if it meant letting go of the hottest guy she’s ever seen in the face of this planet who, coincidentally appeared to be interested too. Joke.

Joke (usually half-meant).

6. A bottle of vodka, rhum and tequila. 2 girls, 3 nights, 3 empty bottles.

5. “Not in your very limited life span,” said the partners to a dirty old man who grabbed them from behind.

4. Scanning the dance floor from a far and whenever "our song” played (which is defined by songs that we like --- and that’s a very, very broad list), we take up 1/4^th of the entire dance floor, making a scene. Yes, we liked the attention, very much.

3. 100ML Sprite bottle + Vodka = Spriked.

2. Pretending to be lesbian lovers just so the very pathetic group of men would stop hitting on us, only to drop the act –in an instant- when a more interesting group invited us for drinks. We do feel sorry for your ego boys, but yes, you can do better than that.

1.  Completely living out our teenage dreams.

Yes, this list might be a little cryptic but you know the saying, “the devil’s in the details”? Well, if I spare more details, then Satan might make a guest appearance. We didn’t kill anything but male egos, shyness and some things in our bucket lists more importantly, we had a hell of a great time. Until our next trip, dear partner in crime, Lhen! 

 

At Epic. Yes, when we dance we take up majority of the floor. Just because we can.

 Care for some healthy pineapple .... rhum?

Scarred but interesting

“I’m a little broken and perhaps a bit damaged but these make me an interesting person."

That’s a line I love telling people. If there’s one thing inevitable about being a risk-taker like myself, it’s getting scarred. And like any soldier who has survived several wars, I’m packed with stories to tell my grandchildren.

I’ve got battle scars to show that I’m living the life of an adventurer.

I’ve gambled on my college education by taking a ‘fun course’ in advertising. You see, back in my days, people usually take up sure-way-to-success courses like accounting, engineering and business but like a good general, I choose my battles wisely. I can’t do long division to save my life but I can whip up a good jingle that can rival Lito Camo’s wit and to-date, I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished.

I’ve fallen in and out of love several times but not once have I not given relationships my 110% percent. Whenever I’m with someone, I look at that person and tell myself, “Oh, he’s THE ONE!” I’m currently above batting average. So far, there have been five THE ONES.

I never turn down a good adventure: Spelunking and caving in Sagada, sans the proper gear? CHECK. Spontaneous long drives to Tagaytay? CHECK. Riding the scariest roller-coasters despite my fear of heights? CHECK. Making myself look like an idiot for the sake of a good laugh? DOUBLE, no, TRIPLE CHECK. I love doing things on the fly. If you invite me to travel to a certain place and my calendar is empty and my pocket is full, chances are I’ll go with you. Sometimes it's best not to think about doing things. You just do.  Later this year, I’ll be off to my solo NY sojourn. I’ve no itinerary, but what I do have is a list of things that I’ve never done before and the plan is to have every item crossed out by the end of the trip – Watch out for my blog posts this December!

I think of myself as a wanderer, a free spirit who is always taking a bite out of this big world. This does not mean I don’t have any direction in life though. Goodness knows I’ve plans from A-Z. I just don’t like boxing myself to limited possibilities since the only time anyone should box themselves is when they’re about to be buried 6-feet under.

I’ve written this post in a way that it paints a pretty picture of my life but I’ve purposely omitted the obstacles that I had to go through to be as happy as I am today. Why? Well, I just want to illustrate how anyone can forget about the hardships that they had to go through when they’ve achieved the satisfaction of accomplishing exactly what they want to do. Yes, the battles may leave you with scars but those eventually become remembrance of sweet victory. But first things first, you need to take those risks that you're scared of doing. Go ahead, live some. Mark Twain best explained this, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

I live by those words and I believe everyone should. At the rate that I'm going, I don't think I'll be the kind to look back at her life with regrets. I mean, what else could I possibly regret? :)

And oh, about the heartaches? I have not given up. I've jumped into the ocean one too many times only to find sharks (and shokoys). Sometimes I get a little exhausted but Miss Piggy's wisdom brings me hope. According to her, "Only time can heal your broken heart. Just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs."

Kidding.

My life’s not perfect but I’m happy.  Yes, I could be happier but this does not stop me from smiling... and taking risks.

My 28th year? Dramady!

Drama + Comedy = Dramady. That's how my 28th year is going.


I started 2011 on a high note, coming from a fantastic NY trip with my family and boyfriend. Anyone would think that the rest of the year would be as sweet as how it began.

A couple of months into the year, I had to endure the loss of a friend, a heartbreak a few weeks before my birthday, face people trying to pull me down the drain and a betrayal of a false friend, to name a few. Tragically, some of these events happened simultaneously with the amoebiasis that I’ve picked up along the way.  

Fan-effing-tastic.  Hello, rock bottom.

I’ve seriously considered seeing a feng shui expert or even bathing in Holy water because by far, 2011 is proving to be the most challenging year I’ve ever experienced. I do understand that my problems pale in comparison to what other people are going through. Yes, I have no right to b*tch about my life but should I be experiencing what they are, I’d be b*tching just the same. For now, this is the cross that I have to bear.

Moving on.

There are times when I look at the series of unfortunate events that have happened and have seriously consider myself as a voodoo spell victim until my trusty seatmate placed me into perspective.

“Look at it as a year of cleansing,” said my seatmate “The things that have happened to you, the people that walked in and out of your life, they serve a purpose, to strengthen and prepare you for what you deserve.”

A year of cleansing, that's a good way of putting it. But she hit it spot on.

Had my boyfriend and I not decided to end things amicably (yes, we’re very much friends and he will be lending me his iPod speakers for my trip) I would have denied myself of the other qualities that I look for in a partner. Had I not faced the people who tried to pull me down, then my true potential would not have been revealed. If it were not for the betrayal of a friend, I would not have known who my true friends are and more importantly, if it were not for the amoebiasis, I would not have gotten this thin, this fast.

Indeed, there is beauty in madness.

You see, when I was younger, I’ve already pictured my 28^th year. I’m supposed to be in a long-term relationship with the man I’d spend the rest of my life with and we’d marry on my 30^th. I’d have a wonderful career (this one I’ve got) and an advocacy that I’d live out with passion (this one I’m currently working on).

I’m a little off track from the original plan but I did realize that there’s nothing much I can do for the remainder of my 28^th year. I have 3 months and I don’t think I can rush that original plan so I’ve decided that until December, everything will be all about me and having fun and not taking life too seriously because obviously, life has been pulling its humorous side on me this year.

On my 29^th year, that’s when I will grab the wheel and get things going my way. For now, I will kick back, enjoy and let the chips fall where they may – I’m sure there are more surprises in store for me in the last 3 months of this year.

Well, whatever it is, I’m just going to have some fun starting with the Boracay trip this weekend with my partner-in-crime, Lhen.

Miles and Lhen. Partners-in-crime. Get ready for us, Boracay!

I'm on Petron

Whenever I gas up super late at night, I'm extra mischievous. It's probably because I'm using up the last ounce of energy I have to drive myself home so that when I land in bed, I'll be sleeping like a baby.

Last night was no different. So my friend and I went to Petron to fill up Bob..... While singing, "Yeah, I'm on PETRON, tequila... " 


Gas Boy: "Ma'am, papatay po...."
Miles: "BANG!"

Again, again, again....

Gas Boy: "Ma'am papatay po...."
Miles: "Sino? Sinong gusto mong patayin!?"

All he wanted to say was "Ma'am, papatay po ng makina"

Yep. I think he was amused because instead of just cleaning up my windshield, he cleaned the rest of my windows. Thanks, Petron boy!

An open letter to my detractors

Dear Detractors,

Thank you.

If it were not for you, my life wouldn't be as wonderful as it is today.

I wouldn't be as challenged to prove you wrong. I wouldn't have discovered who my real friends are if you didn't exist.

I wouldn't be the strong woman that I am today if not for the obstacles that you presented, the words that you've said and the lies that you've spread.

There may be times when your negativity gets to me but my spirit is never, ever weak.

You see dear detractors, for every time you push me to the ground, I rise ten times stronger.

What you don't know is you empower me to become greater than who I currently am.

So, if it's your life's mission to pull me down, then thank you because at the end of it all, you will eventually help propel me to greater heights.

Sincerely,
Miles

Kuya's girl

My brother and I never really got along. Growing up, we were like cats and dogs fighting. We do share common interests like wrestling and I can fondly remember how he "top ropped" me from high up the cabinet and made my milk tooth prematurely fall... Yes, I looked like Carrie coming out of the school gym.

We're poles apart, he's the left brain and I'm the right and in school -let's admit it- left brainers shine more than the creative little ones. I sucked at math and he was the genius. He'd be tasked to tutor (I say torture) me in mathematics and I recall how I'd get mad at him for being such a bad teacher because I was not able to immediately get how trigonometry works. Likewise, I'd be the one to do his take home assignments for art because all he knew how to draw were trees (.... Well, now that I think about it, I'm not even sure if they were trees....)

Our relationship got a little better in high school though when a boy from his level started courting me. This was the first time I felt that my brother really cared about me. I overheard him say to that boy "Pag pinaiyak mo yan, gugulpihin kita" (translation: If you make her cry, I will beat you up) and I remember how sincerely touched I felt knowing that the same guy who knocked my front tooth out would do the same to a boy who'd break my heart...

Now, we're literally miles apart, him being stationed in NY while I'm here in the Philippines. I only get to see him once every year during Christmas and amazingly, the distance made our relationship stronger. He'd monitor my Facebook wall to see how things are with me and when he gets alarmed with my life (and that's really common and I don't blame him) he'd message me (like earlier) warning me that my "obnoxious ways would get me some serious sermon from my parents when they find out so I better screen my FB wall from them". Yes, he's still supportive even if he knows I'm being bad and his only concern is me getting caught by the parental units.

I may not say it often (heck, I probably don't say it at all) but I love my brother and I'd support him through and through. I'd kill for him. Even if he's wrong, I'd kill for my brother. (Ok, kill is such a strong word, but you do get my drift, right?) I'm very proud of him and what he has achieved so far and I'm glad that God made him my brother despite the fact that he's probably the reason why I need to put braces on soon. I can't wait to spend 2 months in NY with him!

That's me and my brother.... With my dad ruining the sibling photo from behind. Yes, the mischievous trait obviously came from my dad.

At the Subway station, NY.

Black & White

This is dedicated to a dear friend of mine who is going through hell right now. But that does not take away the fact that I wanted to stab you with a horse tranquilizer to sedate you (this would have been done with love, care and compassion) as you were going ballistic over... that.

I feel your pain, I've been there a couple of times and it's probably one of the worst feelings in the universe....

You will get through this, just as I did.

Moving on.

I shared this little piece of advice to you earlier and I'm putting the secret down on paper for others to benefit from as well but before I do that, let me start by saying....

*clears throat*

I'm no expert in relationships.

I'm not perfect.

I make mistakes and have faults.

Sometimes, I find it very difficult to even help myself but if there's one thing I admire about my being is the fact that I'm very level-headed and this has helped in keeping me sane.

If there's one very valuable lesson that I've learned from all the experiences that I've gathered after being in several relationships (not at the same time, smarty pants!) it is to always, ALWAYS (I can't emphasize on this enough!) look at things in black & white.

There are no gray areas. None. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

Allow me to illustrate. Usually, this is what happens after "the talk":

You broke up. He said a lot of things that he shouldn't have. You got very hurt because these were all coming from someone who promised never to hurt you.

Your instincts would tell you to salvage the relationship, apologize and do something to make him compromise the situation. And we all know where that goes, correct?

Right. A very familiar place.

Nowhere.

Now, what would a level-headed woman do?

She would take a step back, take away all emotions and look at things at face value to be able to see the clear picture:

A**hole.

And we all know what to do with such beings.

Never go near them without a ten foot pole.

It's pretty simple.

If a guy wants to make you feel special, he would and if he doesn't, he wouldn't.

That's all you need to know to ensure sanity.

Now, I know that I may sound like a heartless human being but to be honest, I'm probably the cheesiest hopeless romantic on my side of town when I'm deep in the love boat (and my friends know that all too well!) But we can't escape the fact that relationships go through difficult times and by keeping this mentality, I'm able to get through them as smoothly as possible, without dramas.

And oh, this has also helped me keep my exes as friends (except one who won't go near me without a ten foot pole --- he's probably a level-headed one too and I was very, very young and stupid then.)

On a sep., rather contradictory note, I just want to share this beautiful piece by Persian poet, Hafiz.
This is the kind of love that we should aspire to build:

And so the story continues

... New chapters and storyline included.

I've been on a roller-coaster ride the last few months. I know. I probably use the term “roller-coaster” way too much for you to actually believe me, but this time, I took the ride of my life (well, so far it’s the craziest one). Those of you who are into astrology call it “Mercury in retrograde” while I, on the other hand prefer the more positive “Universe conspiring” term. It really doesn’t matter what you call it but when I look back at my life in retrospect, it’s amazing how much change has happened in the last 6 months. And I’m talking about good changes, though it didn’t initially feel like it. I believe they coined instances like this as “Blessings in disguise”

Now, I’m not one to dive into details publicly and this will probably end up like a cryptic blog post to those who I’m not well acquainted with. Then again, I trust that the people I’ve decided to keep close in my life would know what exactly I’m talking about and honestly, that’s all that matters.

A lot of curve balls have been thrown at me earlier this year. The people you trusted to be with you through thick and thin ended up in another direction, the plans that you've made got muddled up in oblivion. BUT, I can't say that I didn't see these coming. In fact, I did and just ignored it. Ignorance is bliss that comes with an expiry date and if you prolong it, shit hits the fan.

And so it became messy. Being the private person that I am (an irony to my professional front as a PR practitioner) I decided to keep my feelings to myself and my close group. Thank goodness for kindred souls who get you even without saying a thing (guys, you know who you are). It’s during times like this when you discover those people worth keeping and I learned that I have a handful of them.

I was never the type to cry, but I do take off my armor and lick my wounds privately (revelation: Miles Montecillo is human, complete with emotions). I suppose my point in writing this is to let everyone know that I’m perfectly fine and happy. I felt obliged to do this because a lot of people became part of my life during those years. Well, I'm happy to report that issues have been resolved and everything has fallen into its rightful place. I do however apologize for not elaborating any further. I have fully embraced everything that has happened and that’s probably the reason why this post is long, long, long overdue – I've obviously been too busy enjoying my life. :)

I honestly do not know where the next 6 months will take me but with the way things are going (with a lot of unexpected, yet very, very pleasant twists and turns...) I’m pretty excited to find out. :) Who knows? The Editor-At-Large (aka God... I believe I'm still the author but He knows what's best) might even include a new character in the plot. 

And so dear blessing, you really did fool me at first. Your disguise deserves a “Best in costume award”.